Gemini.Finnegans.Wake.03

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This The way to the museyroom. Mind your hats goan in! Now yiz afe in the Willingdone Museyroom. This is Prooshious gunn. This is a ffrinch. Tip.

This is the flag of the Prooshious, the Cap and Soracer. This is the bullet that byng the flag of the Prooshious. This is the ffrinch that fire on the Bull that bang the flag of the Prooshious. Saloos the Crossgunn! Up with your pike and fork! Tip. (Bullsfoot! Fine!) This is the triplewon hat of Lipoleum. Tip. Lipoleumhat. This is the Willingdone on his same white harse, the Cokenhape. This is the big Sraughter Willingdone, grand and magentic in his goldtin spurs and his ironed dox and his quarterbrass woodyshoes and his magnate’s gharters and his bangkok’s best and goliar’s goloshes and his pulluponeasyan wartrews. This is his big wide harse. Tip.

Excellent. As Saturday night deepens, we move from observing the monument from the outside to stepping directly into it. The narrative voice changes completely, and we are now on a guided tour of the “Willingdone Museyroom” (the Wellington Monument), led by a chatty, unpolished Dublin guide.

This The way to the museyroom. Mind your hats goan in! Now yiz afe in the Willingdone Museyroom.
The tone is set immediately. The guide, with a thick Dublin accent (yiz afe for “you are”), ushers us into the museum, which is both the monument and the tomb of the giant Finnegan/HCE.

This is Prooshious gunn. This is a ffrinch. Tip. This is the flag of the Prooshious… This is the ffrinch that fire on the Bull that bang the flag of the Prooshious. Saloos the Crossgunn! Up with your pike and fork! Tip. (Bullsfoot! Fine!)
The tour focuses on the Battle of Waterloo. The guide points out the artifacts in a comically jumbled, nursery-rhyme fashion (“This is the Frenchy that fired on the Bullet that banged the Flag…”).

  • Prooshious: The Prussians, Wellington’s allies.
  • ffrinch: The French, the enemy.
  • Saloos the Crossgunn!: A muddled command to “Salute the gun!”
  • Tip: The guide constantly reminds us of the expected gratuity, grounding the grand history in a grubby commercial transaction.

This is the triplewon hat of Lipoleum. Tip. Lipoleumhat.
The guide shows us the hat of the great enemy, Napoleon, but his name is cheapened to Lipoleum, as in the flooring material. The triplewon hat refers to his famous bicorne hat, but also suggests he was “triple-won,” a formidable opponent.

This is the Willingdone on his same white harse, the Cokenhape. This is the big Sraughter Willingdone, grand and magentic…
Now for the main attraction: a statue or portrait of the Duke of Wellington (Willingdone) himself. He is presented as the big Sraughter (Slaughterer), a reminder of the brutality behind the glory. The guide describes his uniform and gear as grand and magentic, but the words Joyce uses reveal a different story:

  • goldtin spurs: Not gold, but gold-painted tin.
  • quarterbrass woodyshoes: Not fine boots, but cheap, plated shoes.
  • pulluponeasyan wartrews: His war trousers are “pull-up-on-easy,” and the name contains a final dig at Napoleon.

The hero of the monument is a sham, a man dressed in cheap imitations of grandeur. Just like HCE, the official history of the hero is immediately undercut.

This is his big wide harse. Tip.
The tour concludes with the guide pointing out Wellington’s horse one last time, followed by a final, insistent demand for a Tip.

This entire paragraph is a masterful parody. Joyce takes a real Dublin landmark—the Wellington Monument in Phoenix Park—and transforms it into a “museyroom” of flawed, faked history. The tour guide’s voice, with its colloquialisms and constant requests for a tip, deflates the pomposity of the “great man” theory of history, showing him to be a “slaughterer” dressed in tin and brass.

02/08/2025, P.8.21, to be continued.